Slide Show
May
16
Quote from Albert E.
May 16, 2012 | Leave a Comment
“The world is a DANGEROUS place not because of people who do EVIL, but because of good people who look on and DO NOTHING ABOUT IT” Albert Einstein
Apr
30
Genting Highlands Temple
April 30, 2012 | Leave a Comment
Apr
29
Singapore holidays…
April 29, 2012 | Leave a Comment
Apr
21
Pakistani’s in London
April 21, 2012 | Leave a Comment
Parvinder and Habib are beggars They beg in different areas of London ..
Parvinder begs just as long as Habib but only collects £2 to £3 every day.
Habib brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.
Parvinder says to Habib ‘I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?’
Habib says, ‘Look at your sign, what does it say’?
Parvinder’s sign reads ‘I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support’…
Habib says ‘No wonder you only get £2- £3
Parvinder says… ‘So what does your sign say’?
Habib shows Parvinder his sign…….
It reads:…….’I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan ‘.
Apr
20
Have a greater Laugh!
April 20, 2012 | Leave a Comment
Najib asked the Queen, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?” ” Well,” said the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.” Najib frowned, and then asked, ” But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?” The Queen took a sip of tea. “Oh, that’s easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle.
” The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. “Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?” Tony Blair walked into the room and said, “Yes, my Queen?” The Queen smiled and said, “Answer me this please, Tony, your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?” Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, “That would be me.” “Yes! Very good,” said the Queen.
Najib went back home to ask Muhyiddin the same question. “answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister.
Who is it?” “I’m not sure,” said Muhyiddin. “Let me get back to you on that one…” He went to his advisors and asked every one, but none could give him an answer. Finally, he ended up in the men’s room and recognized Lim Guan Eng’s shoes in the next stall.
Muhyiddin didn’t want but asked anyway, “Lim, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister. Who is it?” Lim yelled back, “That’s easy, it’s me!” Muhyiddin smiled, and said, “Thanks!” Then, he went back to speak with Najib. “Sir, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s Lim Guan Eng!” Najib got up, stomped over to Muhyiddin, and angrily yelled into his face. “No! You idiot! It’s Tony Blair!”
AND THAT MY FRIENDS , IS PRECISELY WHAT’S GOING ON WITH OUR FEDERAL GOVERNMENT IN Putrajaya !!!
Apr
19
Have a good laugh.
April 19, 2012 | Leave a Comment
I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she’s interested in, she said: Cheque books.
The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.
What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.
Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in? New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.
Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!
Q: What’s the diff between mother & wife? A: One woman brings you into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
Santa enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why?
Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Apr
8
Senior’s Entertainment…way to go
April 8, 2012 | Leave a Comment
Working people often ask us retired people what we do to make our days interesting. Well, for example, the other day, my wife and I went into town to go shopping.
When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, “Come on, mate, how about giving a senior citizen a break?”
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him an a***hole.
He glared at me and started writing out another ticket for having worn-out tyres.
So my wife called him a s**t head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windscreen with the first. Then he started writing more tickets. This went on for about twenty minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home.
We try to have a little fun each day now that we’re retired. It’s important at our age!
Mar
29
13th GE Pundit
March 29, 2012 | Leave a Comment
With the 13th GE looming not faraway, we might just wonder what the outcome be? There were many reformations demanded by Bersih (formed in 2005) and below are the 8 points:
1. Clean the electoral roll
2. Reform postal ballot
3. Use of indelible ink
4. Minimum 21 days campaign period
5. Free and fair access to media
6. Strengthen public institutions
7. Stop corruption
8. Stop dirty politics
…which in a layman’s mind is justifiable. The recent agree to disagree at Parliament Select Committee (PSC) on electoral reforms signals out a tough 13th GE its going to be for current Goverment. Not only that, with the Opposition planning to delay the state elections, it will be a guessing game of who’ll flip out 1st. Just like the game ‘I dare you’ to open your cards, this will be playing in our next GE. What does this tells us? Prior to that, let’s review the 8 points and seek clarification.
1. Clean the electoral roll-this can never be cleaned as it has been tainted since a long long time ago. Has the Sabah IC issue settled? Nope. Has the amnesty program been successful? Nope. Many more instances that ate either swept under the carpet or went unheard of.
2. Reform postal ballot-we have heard doctors, lawyers, …etc. overseas that holds a Malaysian citizenship but are not entitled to vote through postal. Same if I were travelling overseas either on leisure or vacation, I am not allowed to vote through postal. In 2004, India had adopted Electronic Voting Machines (EVM) for its elections to the Parliament with 380 million voters had cast their ballots using more than a million voting machines. Why can’t we?
3. Use of indelible ink-we heard the last minute ditch of this, a classic case in our 12th GE. So, are we going to be ‘de-ja-vued’ again? The chances is pretty high.
4. Minimum 21 days of campaign-to emulate Singapore’s snap election, that’s a strategy that has been known to all. My bet is we’ll be the same, being the 13th GE will be called in a sweepingly fastly snappy instances like Tn’Go charges of 0.50cents each time we topped up other than PLUS counters and only requires a slight contact on the transmitter pads.
Ok, the other 4 we will discuss in another session.
Mar
14
My Better 1/2
March 14, 2012 | Leave a Comment
Every Wife is a “Mistress” for her Husband. “Miss” for one hour & “Stress” for the other 23 hours!
There are 2 times when a Man doesn’t understand a Woman. Before Marriage and After Marriage.
My Wife And I Divorced Over Religious Differences. She Thought she Was God, and I Didn’t.
Marriage Is Like A Public Toilet. Those Waiting Outside Are Desperate To Get In & Those Inside Are Desperate To Come Out.
Why Were Hurricanes Usually Named After Women? Because When They Arrive, They’re wet and wild, But When They Go, They Take Your House And Car…
A Man Goes To The Wizard To Ask If He Can Remove A Curse He Has Been Living With For The Last 40 Years. The Wizard Says, “Maybe, But You Will Have To Tell Me The Exact Words That Were Used To Put The Curse On You. “The Man Says Without Hesitation, “I Now Pronounce You Man And Wife.”
Husband Searching Keywords on Google `How to understand Wife?” Google Search Result, “Still Searching`.
A Man Goes To A Shrink And Says, “Doctor, My Wife Is Unfaithful To Me. Every Evening, She Goes To Larry’s Bar And Picks Up Men. I’m Going Crazy. What Do You Think I Should Do?” “Relax,” Says The Doctor, “Take A Deep Breath And Calm Down. Now, Tell Me, Exactly Where Is Larry’s Bar?”
Husband Throwing Darts at His Wife’s Photo and Not Even a Single One Hitting the Target… From Another Room Wife Calls The Husband: “Honey What Are You Doing…Husband: “MISSING YOU”…
A Man Goes To See The Rabbi. “Rabbi, Something Terrible Is Happening And I Have To Talk To You About It.”
The Rabbi Asked, “What’s Wrong?” The Man Replied, “My Wife Is Poisoning Me.” The Rabbi, Very Surprised By This, Asks, “How Can That Be?” The man then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning me, what I should do?” The Rabbi Then Offers, “Tell You What. Let Me Talk to Her, I’ll See What I Can Find out and I’ll Let You Know.” The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says, “Well, I Spoke To Her For Three Hours. You Want My Advice?” The Man Said “Yes” The Rabbi Replied, “Take the poison’
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY………
Women are like phones:
They like to be held, Talked to and Touched often. But push the wrong button And you’re disconnected……
Difference Between Complete & Finish…
People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISH. But there is… When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE…. And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED….. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are … COMPLETELY FINISHED!
Mar
12
Making Babies, anyone?
March 12, 2012 | Leave a Comment
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, “Well, I’m off now. The man should be here soon.”
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. “Good morning, Ma’am”, he said, “I’ve come to…”
“Oh, no need to explain,” Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, “I’ve been expecting you.”
“Have you really?” said the photographer. “Well, that’s good. Did you know babies are my specialty?”
“Well that’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat”.
After a moment she asked, blushing, “Well, where do we start?”
“Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.”
“Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work out for Harry and me!”
“Well, Ma’am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.”
“My, that’s a lot!”, gasped Mrs. Smith.
“Ma’am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be In and out in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.”
“Don’t I know it,” said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. “This was done on the top of a bus,” he said.
“Oh, my God!” Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
“And these twins turned out exceptionally well – when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.”
“She was difficult?” asked M rs. Smith.
“Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look”
“Four and five deep?” said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
”Yes”, the photographer replied. “And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling – I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.”
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. “Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh…equipment?”
“It’s true, Ma’am, yes.. Well, if you’re ready, I’ll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.”
”Tripod?”
”Oh yes, Ma’am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big to be held in the hand very long.”
Mrs. Smith fainted !
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